"OK," said Hairy, not fully understanding, and distracted by the boy's harsh words still ringing in his ears.

They jogged down the street, back past Route 81, the Tomato Factory, Olliboingers and the Freaky Cauldron. At the end of the street Hairy saw a large brightly-coloured bus, with the logo "International Hempster" in wrought iron above the back license plate, which read FURTHUR 3.

"There's a dozen differen' buses 'airy," said Hogride as they approached the garishly painted vehicle. "They'll be headin' to 'empwards all afternoon an' evenin'. It's a long ride, so try an' have a nap on tha way."

"You're not coming with me?" asked Hairy, suddenly worried.

"Nah, but I'll be comin' along later tonight. I'll be sure to see yeh at the school soon." He passed the bags to Hairy as they reached the open front doors of the bus. Hairy caught a glimpse of feet disappearing under the vehicle, perhaps a mechanic was finishing up his work.

Hairy looked up to see the driver smiling down at him. He had long, curly black hair peeking out from under his baseball cap, and a pair of headphones stretched tightly over the top. Hairy could hear heavy rock music pounding out from the earpieces. "Hey little dude, come on board!" shouted the driver. Hairy noticed a sticker on his shirt which said YOUR DRIVER: OTTO.

Peering inside, Hairy saw that the bus was already full of kids his age. Chattering boys and girls filled almost every seat, and sweet smoke filled the air. Hairy could hear the burbling of bongs and scratching of lighters as the kids smoked weed, giggled and talked loudly amongst themselves. Hogride reached past him and handed Otto the ticket.

"Well, goodbye then Hogride," said Hairy. "Thank you for everything."

"Och, thanks be ta yeh too 'airy!" said Hogride, clasping his hands onto Hairy's thin shoulders. "This be a very special day! I am honoured ta call yeh frien'!" He wiped his nose and stepped back. "'ave a safe trip! I'll see yeh again up at 'empwards."

Hairy smiled at Hogride, then turned and climbed aboard the Magic Bus.

There was only one seat left. It was near the back, next to a boy with red hair. The bus jerked forward as the driver put it in gear, and Hairy had to grab on as he made his way down the central aisle, nearly dropping Headstash and his bags as he went.

Hairy reached the empty seat and stuffed his bags into the overhead compartment, then sat down next to the red-headed boy, whom Hairy saw was clutching a cracked glass bong in his hands. It was wrapped in duct tape to stop it from falling apart, and was slowly dripping water into the boy's lap.

"Hullo," said the boy. "I'm Gonall Weedly. You can call me Gon. What's your name?"

"Uh, I'm Hairy Pothead," replied Hairy. The bus suddenly quietened as Hairy announced his name, and kids began whispering among themselves. Hairy heard his name being repeated with wonder. Gon's mouth dropped open, then he swallowed and smiled at Hairy.

"For real... you're the Hairy Pothead? Have you really got - you know..."

He pointed at Hairy's forehead.

Hairy pulled back the fringe to show the pot-leaf scar. Gon stared.

"So that's where Whats-his-face...?"

"Yes," said Hairy, "but I can't really remember it."

They were interrupted by a slightly older boy with red hair like Gon's, who leaned over the back of their seat and made horn signs with both hands while sticking out his tongue and waggling his head.

"Waaazzzzzzup?" said the boy, exhaling a thick cloud of marijuana smoke over Hairy and Gon. Then an identical boy joined him, leaning over the back of the chair and exhaling a second cloud of white smoke as he repeated the catchphrase. "Waaazzzzzzup?"

"Say hi to my brothers," said Gon, "Fried and Gaje. They're twins, in case you hadn't noticed. And they're annoying, in case you hadn't noticed that either."

"Hairrrrrrrrry Pothead!" said the twins in unison, then they jumped back down into their seats and began packing their bongs with more buds.

"It's made almost entirely of hemp, you know."

Hairy turned to see a girl sitting in the seat across the aisle from him. She had curly, chestnut-brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes. She had a huge book open on her lap and was reading from it to Hairy and anyone else within earshot.

"This bus is a replica of the famous Merry Pranksters bus that toured America during the 1960's," she continued, consulting her book. "Except that virtually everything in this bus is made of hemp. The frame is made of molded hemp plastics, biodegradable of course. Even the engine runs on hemp methanol biofuel."

Hairy wasn't sure what this girl was talking about. He didn't understand many of the words she had spoken. "Cool," he said, hoping that was an appropriate reply.

"My name's Herbonme," she said. "Herbonme Stranger."

"I'm..." began Hairy, before she cut him off.

"Yeah, I know. The Hairy Pothead. I read about you in High Times Magazine."

Hairy didn't know what to say about that, but luckily Herbonme kept on talking.

"Did you know this bus is one of twelve which were specially built for use by Hempwards? They get used for all kinds of things, but mostly for bringing students to the Hempwards secret location."

"Secret location?" asked Hairy.

"Yeah, Hempwards is hidden at a secret place, no-one knows exactly where it is. Well, of course some people know, but they're all sworn to secrecy."

As she spoke, the bus windows all began to slowly darken, and in a moment they were completely black. Hairy glanced around as the interior lights came on. Only a small patch of the front window remained clear, so that Otto could see where he was driving.

"What's going on?" asked Hairy.

"It's like I was just telling you," replied Herbonme. "Hempwards is at a hidden location. Even the students don't get to know exactly where it is. Those windows will remain dark for the next twenty hours."

"Twenty hours?" asked Hairy. Now he knew why Hogride had recommended a nap.

"I wish we had more weed to smoke," said Herbonme, closing her book and setting a small jar and a pack of King-Sized Rizla pure hemp rolling papers onto the cover. She opened the jar and shook out a few marijuana buds, which she began crumbling between her fingers. "It seems like everybody has been toking up so much already, we'll all be dry before we're even halfway there."

"I'm already out!" added Gon sadly, wiping bong water off his pantleg.

"I think I've got something," said Hairy, rummaging into his pockets and pulling out one of the jars he had retrieved from his father's safety deposit box. "I hope this is alright," he added, setting it onto Herbonme's book.

Her eyes widened, and she stopped in the middle of licking her joint, setting it down half-sealed. She picked up the jar and read the label aloud.

"Super Silver Haze x Hindu Kush. 112 microns. 4 stars. Soaring cerebral head high and tingling body rush. Good for intimate conversation and intense relaxation."

She held up the jar against the light, and Hairy could see the golden-brown crystals glinting within. "Hairy," she said, "this stuff looks amazing! Do you have something to smoke it in?"

Hairy opened the box from Olliboingers and pulled out his Double Bubbler. It felt good in his grip.

"That is beautiful," cooed Gon, leering at Hairy's bong. "Here, I've got some water for it." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a small bottle, unscrewed the lid and carefully poured some water into Hairy's bong.

When they were done, Herbonme passed Hairy the thick joint she had rolled with the last of her weed, then she took a tiny pinch of Hairy's bubblehash and dropped it into the bowl. "That's a joint of Blueberry, by the way."

Hairy took a hit off the joint. He was astounded at how much it did taste just like fresh blueberries. He felt the familiar rush of awareness as the smoke filled his lungs and cannabinoids began saturating his bloodstream. He passed it to Gon, then exhaled as he saw Herbonme holding a lit match over the bowl which contained the pinch of pure hash crystals.

"The first one's for you Hairy," she said, and Hairy put his lips against the pipe's mouth and began a slow and steady inhalation. He saw the hash begin to bubble as the flame approached it, forming a clear dome of liquified goo and then melting away into pure smoke and vapours.

The water purified the smoke as it was broken into tiny bubbles and passed first through one chamber, then again through water and into the second. Hairy could feel the dense smoke expanding as it entered his mouth, flowed down his throat and deeply into his lungs. The smoke had a complex taste of berries and pine, with overtones of cocoa and molasses. Hairy thought that it was the most smooth and delicious thing he had ever tasted in his entire life.

The toke seemed to last forever, and when it was complete Hairy felt as if his entire being was filled with the potent fumes.

He held in the smoke and closed his eyes, feeling the exhilirating new energies from the plant locking synergistically into every part of his mind and body. He could feel every single aspect of himself in a way he never had before, as if his awareness had expanded from its usual narrow focus and now encompassed a much greater spectrum of thoughts, feelings and ideas. He enjoyed these new sensations, they made him feel warm and happy.

Finally, Hairy opened his eyes and began to release the smoke from his lungs. It poured out of his nose and mouth in a thick stream, filling the air around him and pushing out the other smoke that was clouding the rest of the bus. Hairy's lungs ached just slightly, and he suppressed the slight urge to cough.

"Do you mind if we have a toke too?" asked Herbonme, and Hairy nodded dumbly, his mind on a thousand other things. Herbonme took out another pinch and put it into the bowl of Gon's cracked, duct-taped bong. Gon took a deep hit, then began coughing and spluttering from the dense smoke.

Gon's twin brothers reached over with their nearly identical bongs and Herbonme filled each of their bowls with a pinch of Hairy's hash, and soon everyone on the bus was sticking out their bongs and pipes and getting a sample of this potent product.

Within minutes the entire vehicle was full of coughing, watery-eyed students, but their coughs soon dissolved into boisterous conversation and laughter. Hairy heard some kids in the front of the bus chanting "Sha-key! Sha-key! Sha-key!" as a skinny, nervous-looking boy knelt down sheepishly to wipe up a puddle of his spilled bongwater.

Suffused with cannabis, Hairy suddenly found himself telling Herbonme and Gon every detail about his life, his restricted existence at the Straitely's, and his unpleasant cousin, Studly.

Gon was especially interested in Hairy's story, as he came from a large family of Weedsters, and he didn't really know anything about what it was like to be a Square. Gon was the second youngest of seven children, this was his first year at Hempwards, and the second for his twin brothers.

Herbonme came from a mostly Square family. Although her parents had been Weedsters in their younger days, they had not pursued the herbal arts, and had eventually given it up altogether as they grew older. But they were happy to accept Herbonme's supreme interest in marijuana, and had allowed her to attend Hempwards.

They talked for what seemed like hours, and eventually Hairy found himself with his eyes closed, drifting into sleep. He could feel the vibration of the buses engine, but he still felt as if he was floating on a bed of clouds. Somewhere inside he knew he should be nervous about what lay ahead, but right now, at this moment, he was as relaxed and contented as he could possibly be.

Even though he had never been to Hempwards, Hairy felt as if the Magic Bus was taking him home.